The peeps from CrackBerry.com – an entire website dedicated to “users and abusers” of BlackBerries worldwide (you know, those pocket-sized calendar/computer/cellphone hybrids that allow you to never, ever – not even for a millisecond – be out of touch with anyone – ever – in your social and professional network) – ran a “What would you do for a BlackBerry Storm?” contest.

BlackBerry idiot addict, T.J., answered that question with a calf tattoo of – what else? – a BlackBerry complete with “iPhone sucks” scrawled underneath to become CrackBerry’s first contest winner of a brand new BlackBerry Storm. Are you all groaning as loudly as I am?

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A Connecticut couple wed on Halloween in a local tattoo parlor. The wedding was presided over by a justice of the peace in witch attire and the bride looked lovely in her Return of the Living Dead-inspired outfit. Instead of adorning themselves with permanent rings or each others’ names, Tracy Fox and Nick Adams each got knuckle tattoos of words that meant something to them, in the bride’s case “werewolf” and in the groom’s case “wormfood.” I give them points for being original.

According to this time machine I have here, the happy couple is expecting this baby sometime next year:

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Japan is a mysterious land for those with art on their bodies.  While plenty of ignorant, preconceived notions about people with tattoos exists here in the west, a substantial percentage of the Japanese equate tattoos with the Yakuza, or Japanese mafia.  That may sound pretty badass in theory, but believe me, speaking as someone who has been through it – it’s anything but.  Tattooed people in Japan can be refused entry into bathhouses and hot springs (which incidentally, rule), miss out on jobs and apartments, and are generally feared by the majority of the population as miscreants.  

Or at least that’s how it’s been so far.  

The Japan Times is reporting in this article that tattoos are rapidly growing in popularity with “girls working in the fashion and beauty industries and gay guys.”  These new demographics seem to be leading a “surge” to get tattooed.

Are we witnessing the birth of a new maniacal trend in Japan?  Or are a whole bunch of fashion and beauty industry girls and gay guys setting themselves up for a future of being mistaken for Japanese gangsters?  I’m a little doubtful myself that Japan, a country steeped in tradition and moral codes is going to suddenly purge itself of its opinions regarding this issue.  Who knows though, right?  At the very least it’s a step in the right direction towards acceptance.  That’s never a bad thing.

Picture Courtesy of Wikipedia: “Certain public Japanese bathhouses (sentō) and gymnasiums often openly ban those bearing large or graphic tattoos in an attempt to prevent Yakuza from entering.”

Disclaimer:  This is all shit that has happened to me and it all ended badly.

Don’t make me stop forty seconds into a nickel-sized tattoo because you “didn’t know it was going to hurt so bad” only to come in the next day and try to get your ten-year-old-son tattooed.  When I refuse to do the tattoo and inform you that it is illegal, don’t tell me that you live by “God’s law, not man’s law”, because I have four kids, I am a former U.S. Marine, I have anger management issues, and what you’re suggesting is child abuse motherfucker.

If you are a racist piece of shit and are not absolutely sure your tattoo artist is also, refrain from spouting your fascist propaganda, it can always hurt worse.

Do NOT, when quoted a very reasonable price on a tattoo, ask your scratcher friend you ignorantly brought with you if he could do as good a job as I could.  Do not do this right in front of the tattoo guy that just quoted you that price.

Don’t ask one tattoo artist for a price and then ask another artist in the same shop for a price in order to start some sort of bidding war.  We don’t like that and it will end badly for you.
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Over the last thirteen years, I’ve noticed some things about tattoo that seem to possess a certain universal truth.  Some people would refer to this as common sense, but for others it may well save them from calamity.  For instance, joke tattoos only work for the heavily tattooed or folks in the industry (who are usually heavily tattooed).  If you don’t have a fairly high percentage of coverage but you insisted on getting an admittedly silly tattoo because you thought it’d be funny I have news for you, jokes get old but tattoos are forever, you’ll just look like a jackass.  This also goes for tattoos on necks, hands, and faces, if you already have a ton of tattoos this just seems to be a natural progression, you’re running out of space.  If you want your first tattoo on your hand or neck, please be aware that you’ll just end up looking like an asshole (matter of fact, I won’t render such a tattoo).

Tattoo selection should be centered around something that will stand your own personal test of time.  For instance for all those people who got swept up in the election fervor and got a Barack Obama tattoo:  What if he turns out to be a douchenozzle of the highest calibre?  The point is, if part of your tattoo selection process involves “I could always have it removed” your logic is seriously flawed and you might want to consider doing something a little less permanent with your time, like VOTING in the Obama scenario.

Personal pet peeve:  No names except kids and dead people.  Why?  You can be sure that your kids are going to piss you off and dead people can’t anymore (usually).  I’ve had people come into the shop to get their wife’s/husband’s/boy/girlfriend’s name tattooed on them, listen to my little lecture about what a bad idea this turns out to be (it’s cursed), and get the tattoo anyway, only to come back less than a week later to get the thing covered up.  I guess there’s something to say for job security but hell… Read the rest of this entry »

Tattoos, as we all know, signify something. Whether it be the memory of a loved one or reaching a specific point in ones life. Now, we are seeing more and more tattoos that serve medical purposes. For example, a warning. Some patients with severe diseases will get at tattoo that aids in assistance. Explaining or depicting what needs to happen or what did happen, when the person is unable to help or explain on their own. Another reason for a medical tattoo is cancers, when a woman has breast cancer and mastectomy it is common to use tattooing to replace or fill in the areola to help in forming a more natural looking breast. And some people, who are required to wear an allergy medical bracelet will simply get the information tattooed directly onto their skin.

Either way, medical tattoos are becoming more popular with patients. Adding to their confidence level and providing important information to anyone that comes to the rescue.

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Most women in the United States wear some form of cosmetic products mainly eyeliners, lipsticks, and brow liners. But what if you weren’t able to put on make-up because of poor eyesight or you felt you needed make-up on because of an abnormality, well cosmetic tattoos or permanent make-up may be your next thought. Permanent make-up is a form of tattooing which allows the person to never have to apply traditional cosmetic products.

There isn’t much history in the origin of this technique but what I have found is that a man by the name of George Burchett became somewhat infamous in the 1930’s by using permanent make-up on clients. This was done by injecting a vegetable dye under the skin.

In today’s society tattoos and body modifications are normal sightings, but the numbers are still on the raise. With so many advancements and better health risk management procedures going into place more and more people look to ink to express themselves. The FDA has even taken a stand on cosmetic tattoos, regulating the inks used, similar to the regulations set in place for the cosmetic industry.

As well as with any other form of tattoos, permanent make-up has it’s risks. Allergy reactions to the color pigments, abnormal scarring, infection, irritations, and serious deceases (if equipment isn’t sterile), are some of the common problems people have with tattooing.

If you are planning on having any form of permanent make-up done, you need to check with your state to see if a tattoo artist can apply it or if you need to seek out a cosmetologist. All states do not require the same.

Unless you are involved in the body modification/tattoo industry, or are a years-hardened veteran collector, it’s come to my attention that a great many people have no idea how to protect themselves from unhealthy practices while getting the best tattoo at a reasonable price.  Myself, I wasn’t aware that making appointments to get tattooed was the common practice for several years, until I had worked in a shop in fact.  And that’s part of the problem, many tattooers have been doing this for so long that they forget what it was like making that first fateful trip to the tattoo parlor:  the anxiety (how much is this gonna hurt, what if they mess up); the heady adrenaline-infused drive to permanently alter your appearance, thus taking ownership of your body in ways that others are too timid to commit to.  So this sense of professional detachment from that young kid across the counter can sometimes prevent a tattooer from going that extra mile, not only to get paid to do a great tattoo, but also to inform their new customer of some of the nuances of the tattooer/ client relationship.  That ends now.

First and foremost let it be said that you are responsible for your own well-being.  If you get a shit tattoo from your uncle that learned how to do it in prison for a joint and a case of beer it’s your own damn fault.  If you get a shit tattoo from a licensed artist working in a professional shop, well, that’s your fault too.  Take a few simple steps to prevent this from happening:
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Robert Johnson had been saving up all year for his new tattoo. Like most enthusiasts he worked hard for his money, and was looking forward to getting his first piece of body art. Having recently moved to a new town he needed an artist, most specifically one within his budget. On the advice of a acquaintance he went to a new shop that had just opened in the strip mall down town.

The artist had several photographs of work he had done, and seemed competent enough. So with great excitement he laid his money down sat down in the chair. Several months later he began to feel a little off, as if he had the flu. His symptoms grew worse as the days passed. Finally he went to the doctor and received some news that shocked him. He had contracted Hepatitis C, a contagious viral disease that leads to serious, permanent liver damage, and in many cases, death.

It seemed the tattoo artist had not only given him his first tattoo, but something Ajax wouldn’t take off as well. It turns out that the supposed artist was unlicensed. Something that can be done in several states where licensing of the artist themselves is not required, and even in some states where it is. Sound far fetched? Consider the following.

As recent as June of this year two teens were treated for infections they received from an unlicensed scratcher. Yes, I refuse to call them artists. If they really were artists with a love of the art instead of money they would take the time and expense to be properly trained in sterile procedures. This is even worse when the scratcher is untrained in how to properly tattoo. Tattoo machines don’t come with erasers. In many ways those kids were lucky Instead of just an infection and some bad tattooing, they could have walked away with any number of diseases, including HIV.

Another illegal tattoo shop in Des Moines just last year may have exposed any number of tattoo enthusiasts to several diseases.

While it is true that scratchers will probably always be the bane of the tattoo art world, there should be no reason to make it easy for them to practice our art and make it so health threatening for collectors who just want good art, something they can be proud of.

Perhaps it is high time that tattoo equipment suppliers were as regulated as licensed artists. After all, just any old Joe Blow off the street can not purchase most hospital supplies without proof of their right to have access to them. While I realize that suppliers should be able to make a living too. There is no sane reason that access to professional tattoo equipment should be available to anyone who happens to have the cash. It should be a requirement that the purchaser has at least some proof that they have been properly trained as a tattoo artist.

If the art form we love is to keep it’s current, hard won, acceptance and grow to be even more accepted as the art form that it is. Then access to the tools of the trade must become limited to the trained and licensed artists.