Tattoo Blog

Art that adorns the flesh…

Turkeys Before Thanksgiving.

November 12th, 2009 by

Ok, maybe I’m showing my age, maybe my tolerance for bullshit has just gotten to a point where I’m not that willing to put up with ignorant, head up my ass crap anymore, or maybe I just have a rant going that isn’t gonna quit. What ever the reason, it seems like November has the turkeys coming out of the friggin’ woodwork this month, instead of staying in the oven where they belong. (For our younger readers “turkey” was 70’s slang for an ignorant moron. IE: “You jive turkey.”)
torchlight mob
It seems like I’ve had quite a few stories like the following one flash before my bloodshot eyes over the last few weeks. Some of it could possibly be put down to the kind of trouble that any business has in starting up, but damn if this sort of crap is applied to video stores, music shops, or any number of other enterprises that can, and often do contain questionable material. (Think XXX section, and Explicit Lyrics warnings to get my meaning on that one.)

So, what business has the most trouble setting up shop? A tattoo studio, naturally. As is shown by the recent anal retentive BS going down in Pembroke, Massachusetts.

Adam and Colette Worrall, who have lived in the town and helped their parents with a convenience store named “Lindy’s General Store” for the past 25 years have run afoul of the town’s uptight, (wouldn’t you love to see the skeletons in their closet), Leave it to Beaver, populace by daring to suggest opening a tattoo studio next to the store. In a building that has been empty and costing the taxpayers money since the 1980s, no less!

Oh-My-God!! Somebody get the torches so we can run these evil monsters out of town!

According to one of the opposing voices of (un)reason; “I just don’t want it near my child. Other businesses would be so much nicer for the community.”

Hey, Genius! The place has been unused for damn near twenty years! What? You think the business fairy is going to swoop down in this economy and magically fill the spot with a thriving candy shop? By the way, that smell you keep complaining about is what you had for dinner last night.

Responding to claims that the shop would draw a crowd that could be a danger to children, (Now we’re a bunch of pedophiles for Christ’s sake!), Robert Galvin, Worrall’s attorney, said, “Tattoos don’t have the same stigma they used to have and don’t attract the same people. Its not the place the bikers hang out anymore.”

I’ll add to that by saying, as a person who has had more than a passing acquaintance with many bikers, and clubs; every biker I have ever known would happily rip a child molester, or anyone else who harms a child, a new one so big they could pass an elephant without having to grunt. So, what the Hell does that have to do with it?

A last minute item on the special town meeting warrant earlier this month sought to limit the placement of tattoo parlors to adult zones, but was withdrawn by the zoning board.

Bet they didn’t worry about that with the video store that occupied the space before in the 80s. Those same righteous folk were too busy checking out the large adult section in the back. Need I mention the number of times a child has accidentally wandered into one of those sections by mistake? Probably caught the local pastor with a copy of “Anal Sluts part 6” in his grubby hand as well.

Got news for you hypocrites there in Pembroke. It’s easier for that to happen than for a toddler to wander off into a tattoo studio and come out with a back piece. Think not? Better remember the Jimmy Swaggart fiasco first. “I’ve sinned! Boo Hoo Hoo!” Unless my memory fails me that was adult related also. Wanting to ban any churches from the area while your at it?

Anyway, the board will decide the fate of Adam and Colette’s dream on Nov. 24., around 7 p.m. We’ll try and stay on top of this one and let you know just how many turkeys there actually are in Pembroke this year. Maybe they’ll surprise us and pull their heads out of their collective anuses long enough to realize that tattoos, and tattoo studios are not the bastions of evil they seem to think they are.

The best of luck to Adam and Colette Worrall. If you do get a chance, let the ‘ol Doc know. I’ll be pullin’ for ya.

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