Using a bit of word play on the famous question traditionally asked by the Nazi Gestapo, I want to point out that it would seem that our beloved government is once again determined to dictate what we place on our skin, along with what we think, eat, breathe, wipe our ass with, etc, etc.

Now I’m not talking about Aryan tattoos, Extremist tattoos, or even tattoos that make disgusting racial slurs. I’m talking about good old patriotic tattoos that harken back to the days when our founding fathers were the revolutionaries. This could quite possibly soon include any Sanskrit, or Arabic lettering you may decide to have done. Even if all it says is “I love my Mama!”

In a move that echoes the same tactics used by the infamous East Germany Stasi, (the secret police who employed over 274,000 informers to “root out the class enemy”, many of whom were forced or bribed into service), the Federal Bureau of Intimidation has been passing out flyers to Philadelphia tattoo artists in an attempt to get them to inform on their clients.

One of the main tattoos they want the tattoo artists to inform on their clients about is the famous Gadsden flag. One of the historic “Don’t Tread On Me” flags that were so popular during the American Revolution, and in the past was also used by The United States Marine Corps as an early motto flag.

According to the pamphlet being handed out by the Bureau of Justice Assistance, (part of the Department of in-Justice), in league with the FBI the Gadsden flag and several other patriotic tattoos are symbols of militias, and said militias are “white supremacists,” domestic terrorists and a threat to the president, as well as members of such third party organizations as the Libertarian party. Face it, if your not a Elephant or a Donkey…you are a terrorist!

Hell, every one of them is another Timothy McVeigh waiting to happen and we should hang them all! (Ever notice the more they deride the Nazis and the Socialists the more they act just like them? What is wrong with that picture?)

While they have this disclaimer at the bottom;

“It is important to remember that just because someone’s speech, actions, beliefs, appearance, or way of life is different; it does not mean that he, or she, is suspicious.”

It is quickly followed by a “What should I do?” section that states;

“Watch for people and actions that are out of place.”

Isn’t that the same as speech, actions, beliefs, appearance, or way of life which is different?! WTF?!

I don’t think their rat campaign is going to be very successful, though. I for one would take the pamphlet with a smile, agree with the lazy assed government official trying to get me to do his job for him. Then kick his Totalitarian ass out of my democratic shop and use it to wipe my dog’s ass.

Considering what those guys get paid, and the government benefits they enjoy, I think they should do their own friggin’ shit work and earn it.

I think that it is fair enough to say that aside from simply looking great, arguably the best thing about tattoos is that they themselves don’t discriminate.  Sure, there’s no shortage of narrow minded, ignorant people who practically go out of their way to show their disdain for tattoo art work, but tattoos themselves can be found on people from all walks of life, all genders, all races and classes.  I think that’s a really unique and special aspect of the tattoo.

In keeping with that notion, I thought that I would give a special mention to Father Graham Sawyer.  Father Sawyer is an Anglican priest or vicar, who recently transferred to the Saint Barnabas parish in Woodford Green, England.  As far as being a man of God goes, Father Sawyer is no different than any other person who devotes their lives to their faith.  As far as his personal taste goes, well, I would say that Father Sawyer is very different from your average man o’ the cloth.

You see, Father Sawyer likes tattoos.  Most recently he’s had a small Quaker star tattooed on his chest, which he says symbolizes his passion for the Quaker movement.  Yet that tattoo is simply the tip of the iceberg.  Father Sawyer’s body displays more than 15 hours worth of Polynesian tattoo work.  Says Father Sawyer:

“I suppose it is a bit of an unusual thing for a priest in this country to have tattoos but it isn’t in places like New Zealand where I worked for a while.

“Coptic priests in the Middle East also sometimes have tattoos on their wrists.

“There is a strong Christian tradition for body art.

“Myself and a colleague who was ordained at the same time as me, both have a passion for body art and have had a sort of friendly competition since then to see who can get the most done.”

It’s really great to see this happening and I wish Father Sawyer and his colleague all the best in their artistic pursuits.  I’m sure that there will be those who disagree with the desires of these men to have tattoo work done, but there will always be critics.  The importance that tattoo plays in the lives of Father Sawyer and his colleague will always outweigh the naysayers.

Go Fathers!

When I first started doing tattoo advertising I understood that most people would think I was crazy. One think that never crossed my mind was that I would be judged differently by the police as well. Last week I was walking to the library with my laptop. My car is in the shop right now so I am currently walking everywhere until it is fixed. I had just left my home and a cop car drove by me. The cop parked a few hundred feet in front of me, a few seconds later a couple other police cars parked. Two of the cops walk over to me and one of them says the reason I came over is your wearing shorts and you have a tattoo on your face and that’s pretty unusual. He then asked if he could ask me a few questions. I said sure, he asked why I had a laptop bag I said because I was walking to the library so I could go onto the Internet. He then asked to look inside my laptop bag and and asked exactly what was inside. I told him just my laptop and a camera. He then started searching through my bag. He then asked for my ID or licence. I handed it to him and he called my name in to see if I was wanted for anything. He then asked for my phone number and my address. They eventually let me continue to walk to the library. It was obvious to me that they assumed I must have stolen that computer. They must have thought to themselves he is wearing shorts, has a tattoo on his face therefore he must have stolen that computer.

I now have another website tattooed on my body billboard. The newest website to advertise on me is PornFidelity.com. I am happy to be advertising for this website as I go to the website quite often. The owners of this website are great people as well as being husband and wife they are also the stars of their website as well. They choose my left cheek to advertise on. As you can see from the photo their logo is very noticeable and really stands out well.

The Duke City was a blast. Rock the Ink was banging, and Miss Tattoo true to form, we had some serious women with some serious ink. I am still recovering from the show. It was a lot of work, but I am happy to report the results…

Every so often I come across some tattoo related news that makes me blood boil.  The most recent news that I’ve come across that has got me good and pissed off is certainly nothing new here on the Tattoo Blog.  Our good pal Dr. Hook has been following the case of Eric Anderson, a tattoo artist from Zipp’s Tattoo and Museum Shoppe in Edmonton, Canada, for quite some time now.  Check out the Doc’s past posts about it here and here.

The long and short of it is that Anderson had his 21-year-old shop closed back in June of this year after health inspectors learned that Anderson did not keep customer records, improperly discarded needles and probably most disturbing of all, re-used unsterilized tattooing and piercing equipment on his customers.  Gross.  The shop was also closed down back in 2007 due to infection control and unsanitary conditions.

Well this coming Tuesday, October 27th, Eric Anderson will appear in court with 21 charges against him.  He faces a maximum fine of $42,000 CDN ($39, 935 US, £24,479 GBP) for his stupidity.  His shop has since been closed.

Personally, I think that morons like this who stupidly and needlessly endanger the health and lives of the public should be banned from ever being able to tattoo again, in addition to being slapped with any other criminal charges that are applicable.  Not only is Anderson potentially spreading disease through his lazy, idiotic ways, but he’s also completely destroying the responsible and credible image that professional tattoo artists have to work so hard to uphold.  What’s more, Whyte Avenue, where Zipp’s tattoo shop was located, is the most trendy area in the city of Edmonton.  It’s not some obscure, dirty back alley somewhere.  So when tattoo shops in heavily trafficked areas like this one get a bad image, where do all the good tattoo artists have left to go to in order to give their business credibility?

No doubt about it, an example needs to be made of Eric Anderson.  Here’s hoping that come Tuesday he gets everything that’s coming to him.

Whenever I hear the name Niko, I automatically think of the husky sounding European chanteuse from the Velvet Underground.  This is a mistake.  First of all, that’s Nico not Niko, and second of all, this Niko is far more likely to give you a kick ass tattoo than to sing you a mid sixties experimental rock song.

Yes, Niko is a tattoo artist and a great one at that.  As owner of Kustom Tattoo in Paris, France, Niko has been working as a tattoo artist for the past 14 years.  If you’re the sort of person who likes a good skull tattoo, then Niko is your man.  Not to say that Niko can only do skull tattoos, but he is particularly fond of the Memento mori, which is Latin for “Remember you will die.”  The Memento Mori is an art genre which is intended to remind people of their own mortality, while also showing them the price that will be paid in the afterlife if they break the commandments and rules of their religion.  Memento mori artwork is seen in everything from paintings to sculptures, to gravestones and now tattoos as well.  It has been around for centuries.

If all that sounds a little grim, that’s because it is.  But hey, that doesn’t mean that it isn’t beautiful too.  Niko’s tattoo work certainly takes on a dark sort of beauty that isn’t bogged down by cliches.  The human skull has got to be one of the most widely tattooed images in the world, yet Niko’s careful and precise work makes it look fresh and original each time.

In addition to the Memento mori work, Niko also does Japanese and Cholo style tattoos.  His work in these tattoo genres is certainly worthy of a look.  I also can’t forget to mention that beyond his tattoo work, Niko paints and has also designed graphics for skateboard decks.  If you live in Paris, or are planning a vacation there in the near future, stop by Kustom Tattoo and see Niko’s work for yourself first hand.

Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I don’t oppose all politicians, just the ones that are determined to throw their weight around and make an ass of themselves. That being said, I will also pass out kudos when they are deserved, and that is just the case in the good old UK. (Maybe we can get a few to teach the majority of ours how to be a public servant?)

Anyway, around the same time as the mayor of Columbus, NE was apologizing for being an arrogant jerk, the mayor of Diss in Norfolk, UK was officiating at the opening of a brand new tattoo studio! Now this is the kind of action that makes it clear the township of Diss has a mayor who knows how to handle a global rescission, by welcoming any new business with open arms.

According to the Diss Express, Mayor Jane Trippett-Jones opened a new tattoo and piercing business following a colorful town center parade. Local owners Ray Horne and David Garrett, (along with the mayor), opened the studio after sponsoring a Alice In Wonderland-themed parade through the town to drum up business for the new venture.

Now just how cool is that? Not only does the mayor officiate the opening of your studio, but you have a parade for the residents as well. That, my friends is how to drum up some serious PR, and they aren’t done there. These two artists have their shit together, so to speak.

Ray and David have had the studio inspected by an environmental health team to ensure it is fit for purpose and a certificate will be on display at the shop. They also said that they work to strict ethical guidelines, not piercing anyone under 16 or tattooing anyone under 18. I like these two blokes already. Well done, men.

The studio, named Bliss, is open 10am-6pm, Tuesday to Saturday, and is opposite the Rose Lane turning, for all you UK readers out there. Check them out and send a bit of business their way.

The dynamic duo is also having graffiti artist Tom Reynolds create a piece of work for them that will be on display inside the studio once it is finished.

As for Mayor Jane Trippett-Jones…Well done, M’Lady. I’m beginning to see why the UK has such memorable women in their government. Well done indeed.

Image © Diss Express, All Rights Reserved

As most of you know already, the ‘Ol Doc ain’t shy about ragging on politicians. In particular the ones who want to take a hypocritical stance against tattoos, or tattoo artists. Well, I’m not about to disappoint you now. Especially when the story involves one of those Richard Cranium types eating a healthy dose of crow pie.

It seems that the mayor of Columbus, NE, Mike Moser, decided to try and use his position and authority to keep tattoo artist Dustin Milligan from opening a shop in the downtown area. Why? Because the mayor owns a music shop, Columbus Music, right next door in the same building. According to reports the mayor didn’t want “Him or his riff-raff clientele” there.

Starting in June Dustin Milligan had been renovating a building at 2516 13th Street with the hope of opening Phoenix Body Mods. The building had been empty and unproductive for over a year. The very first week the mayor requested a meeting with Dustin to let him know that he was about as welcome as a case of the clap at an Elks convention.

Failing that, Moser tried to find Dustin another location for him to move to, then when that didn’t work, apparently took another track. Milligan said prior to the publication of the story, he had difficulty reaching potential contractors to proceed with the electrical and plumbing work in the building, but since the article was published in The Columbus Telegram he has had contractors seeking him out.

On top of the previous difficulty obtaining contractors, according to the building’s owner, David Blessen, Mayor Moser made repeated attempts to purchase the building. Is anyone else starting to smell a rat in City Hall?

After the story broke in the Telegram, and an outpouring of public sentiment for Dustin, as well as a public smearing of the mayor, Moser relented and apologized publicly for his treatment of the tattoo artist. Guess he suddenly remembered that the riff-raff votes as well. What’s a matter Mike? Afraid you’ll have to actually work for a living?

The mayor said that he thought the article in the Telegram was “very negative and inflammatory.” Which, incase you don’t speak politicaleeze, means “I got caught with my head up my ass, and was losing future votes.”

Dustin is a lot kinder than I am and holds no animosity towards the mayor, or his cronies, but he has to work there, so I can’t blame him there. It just shows he is the bigger man. I don’t have to depend on living next to the backstabbing sucker, so I can call a spade a spade. But to be kind about it, admission is the first step there Mikey.

Speaking of tattoo regret, as in my post about the de-ick-bacle in Sweden, I began surfing the net looking for a few more tattoos that ranked as some unbelievable shit that people would have tattooed on them. Well it didn’t take long for me to find the ultimate tattoo regret website. (And waste the rest of the day laughing my ass off instead of working!)

Introducing “Ugliest Tattoos: A Gallery of Regrets.”

Now, if your like me and like watching shows like “The Smoking Gun Presents; World’s Dumbest”, or like most people with a healthy dose of human nature, this is one site you just have to visit. The gallery is unbelievable in the scope and magnitude of some of the dumbest tattoos ever to grace the human anatomy.

I’ve seen some doozies in my time, but some of this shit has those beat hollow. I picked a few of the tamer ones to give you a small idea of what the gallery contains, but these are barely the tip of the iceberg. In fact a few of them could possibly get our IP provider to pull the plug on us, so you’ll have to go to ugliest to see the good stuff for your self.

Just don’t blame me if you end up spitting your drink all over your monitor, OK?

To add to hilarity there is a comment section under each and every tattoo mistake presented to your watering eyes, so you have plenty of room for interaction and adding to the hilariousness of the site. Not to mention a chance to make fun of someone who desperately deserves it.

Normally I’m pretty tolerant about someone else’s tattoo, after all it’s their skin, but…damn…this stuff just begs to be made fun of. (Naturally, if you didn’t want someone to make fun of your tattoo you wouldn’t put it up on a site called Ugliest Tattoos in the first place.) At the very least you’ll be scratching your head and saying, “What the fuck were they thinking?”

So, If your in desperate need of a good laugh, or a shock, hit that link and make sure your not drinking anything…monitors are expensive.

All images © Ugliest Tattoo.com All rights reserved

One of the things that almost every tattoo artist will warn you against doing, and almost every first time client will do, is getting a good dose of liquid courage before getting a tattoo. Where I used to work at it was against the law to tattoo anyone who was inebriated, and yes, I had more than one person come in looking for that first tattoo so drunk they were lucky to string three sentences together.

Not only does a high alcohol blood content make you bleed like a stuck pig, (which makes it harder to do a good tattoo, because your bleeding ink out almost as fast as it goes in), but believe it or not, in most cases it make the tat hurt more. I never liked dealing with a drunk client anyway, because your inhibitions are down and they squirm, jump around, and holler like a pig with a full on cattle prod shoved up its ass. Ever try to write, or draw something while someone else jerks the table around? Guess what? Tattoo machines do not come with erasers.

If that’s not enough to warn you first timers off of getting a buzz on before getting your first tattoo take a lesson from a guy named Joel who lives in Northern Sweden. Umeå, to be exact. As reported in Sweden’s Aftonbladet news paper.

After downing an entire bottle of Vodka Joel decided he would get a tattoo. He had noticed the finger moustache a friend had, and announced that he would now get one too. Unfortunately, he announced it in front of a local tattoo artist, who said he would give Joel a tattoo if Joel would give him free reign. Joel agreed and off he went with the artist and a buddy to get the job done.

Well, I don’t know if the tattoo artist had a grudge against Joel, or if he just has a sick sense of humor, but our boy Joel woke up the next morning to find the above tattoo on his leg. Maybe the unnamed artist just thought Joel was being a dick and he should advertise it to all and sundry. Maybe his father owns a jeans store. May be the artist is a dick, and wanted to advertise. Who knows.

Just remember, gang, liquid courage, getting stoned, high, whatever, before a tattoo isn’t a good idea. In fact it can make you look like a dick head in the end.

I’m out’ta here before I piss myself laughing. 😉

Image © Aftonbladet all rights reserved