Instead of just bitching my ass off this time, maybe, just maybe, I can offer a bit of constructive advice for when a question like the following comes up in the future. At the worst I can try, and fall flat on my face, but here goes anyway.

The following question was posed to David Emin in the UK publication, “Media Week.” Now, somehow I doubt that David has many tattoos, but he says his grandma did, and he did give some very level headed advice. However in my opinion he stopped just short of anything that could prove useful. Here’s the question:

We are recruiting for a media buyer for one of our teams. The fact that we are able to recruit has come as a bit of a surprise, because our company has had a recruitment freeze in place for the past 12 months. After much moaning to my boss and complaining about my department’s massive workload, she finally let us go ahead and recruit someone.
My dilemma is that we have nailed the selection process down to two candidates, but the one I believe is the best person for the job has a tattoo on the back of his hand. Unfortunately, my boss does not approve of this kind of thing. Do I risk upsetting my boss and employing the candidate I think is ideal for the job or should I go with the candidate who is not as well qualified, in my opinion, but will meet with the boss’s approval?

Basically David’s advice was to ask the boss, who hates tattoos, and lay the cards on the table.

That’s all well and good, but how does that help either the company that’s trying to realize more profit, or the qualified person who needs and has proven they can do the job quite well? Basically it seemed to me as if the buck was getting passed.

Well, lay that sucker down on my desk, because I’m going to give some constructive advice.

One: If you want to tell the boss before doing your job, by all means do so, but let her know that the tattoo obviously has not kept the candidate from doing a stellar job in the past. Which is more important? A prejudice against tattoos, or a bigger bottom line? If the prejudice is more important…no wonder the global economy is in the crapper.

Two: Point out that with today’s cover makeup’s it is a matter of child’s play to hide the tattoo, and unless you want to crow from the roof tops, no one is going to be the wiser. I doubt the candidate in question is going to refuse covering the tattoo up when faced with a chance at a lucrative job they are good at.

Three: Why bother the boss at all? Hiring is your job. Ask the candidate if they would cover the tattoo with a concealer while on the job.  The boss need never know, and if the new man is pulling in the top bucks, I doubt she will care if it ever becomes known. The purpose of any business is to make the largest profit margin possible.

Perhaps things are getting better where tattoos and the general public are concerned, but the last few weeks of research has shown me that there are still a lot of shallow people out there who can’t see beyond outward appearance. To be blunt, it has jerked the Sailor Jerry rose colored glasses right off my face.

We’ve come a long way, Baby. But we still have a long way to go.

So until the rest of the human race decides to pull its head out of its ass. Keep your friends close…and your concealer closer. What they don’t know won’t hurt you.

And the sign said; “Weirdo tattoo freakies need not apply.”
So, rolled my shirtsleeves down,
And I went in to ask him why.
He said, “You look like a fine outstanding young man.”
“I think you’ll do.”

So I flashed out my tat,
And said, “Imagine that. Huh. Me, working’ for you.”

Peace out, Gang! 😉

I have just listed an auction on eBay for lifetime advertising on my forehead.   That’s right the winning bidder of this auction will get to advertise on my forehead for life with a permanent tattoo advertisement. I Have done eBay auctions like this in the past but recently I have been contacting websites and seeing if they would like to advertise on me. I decided to go this rout to change things up.

You might be wondering why I am doing this, and here is the reason. A couple of weeks ago I saw an ad on craigslist for a van. My family and I have been without a vehicle for almost a year. The craigslist ad looked good so I called about the van. We set up a day and time to look at it. I test drove it and it seemed to run really well. I decided to buy it. The very next day it broke. I took it to the shop and was told it was a complete mess. The engine was worthless as was several other parts. I couldn’t get my money back as I signed a paper saying vehicle as is. I never bought a vehicle from an individual before so I made mistakes. I decided to put the auction on eBay in the hopes of coming up with enough money to get the family another vehicle as the snows have just now hit here in Anchorage, Alaska. Please tell everyone you know to watch my auction. I am really hoping the auction does well.

Since I’m on the subject of women and tattoos, (Yes, I know there are male nurses, but many more nurses are women…and I’d rather have a sponge bath from a girl, thank you.), I thought I would take on that bastion of false perception, the “Tramp Stamp.”

When you think about all the lies there have been about tattooing in general, “People who have tattoos are all criminals.”, “Tattooed people are all drug users.”, “Only low class people get tattoos.” Etc. Etc. Ad Nausea. It seems amazing to me that a single tattoo, simply because of it’s placement, (Which I personally think looks cool as Hell.), and the gender of the person wearing it should attract some of the most God awful bullshit ever heard.

Personally I like the term Tramp Stamp, but I’m one of those “fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke, and fuck ‘em if they can’t” types. I think it’s as up there as Cougar, and gays referring to themselves as fag, or any other of the one time derogatory remarks that was used against them. When slurs are  used as a term of empowerment instead of a slur, it loses all it’s power to offend and becomes a badge of honor.

What I don’t like are assholes believing all the bullshit that goes with it.

According to the Urban Dictionary, an online dictionary that is about as reliable as Wikipedia when it comes to facts:

“Those chicks with tramp stamps are the kinds of girls you take home to bang. Don’t get into relationships with them because they are often immature gold digging sluts who sleep with everyone. Oh yeah, make sure you use a rubber because you don’t want to end up with chlamydia trachoma (which 1 in 20 women have between the ages of 14-39 according to the center of disease control… probably much higher if they have a tramp stamp considering the scientific coloration [sic] between sluttiness and tramp stamps). Also, if they pop out a baby (which they often do), they may have issues getting epidurals through their tattoos in the lower back.”

I’m betting the stupid shit who added that one has about as much luck with the ladies as Bill Gates while he was still a pimple faced geek in High School. On a scale of 1 to 10…about a negative 600. In fact I’d be willing to bet Bud Bundy up there has never taken a chick with a tramp stamp, or any other hot lady, home to bang. Unless he had to blow her up first that is. The rest of the tripe definitions are just as bad.

One: Guess what, Nimrod. Just because she has a tramp stamp does not mean she is a slut. All it means is she is cool enough to be comfortable with her own sexuality. Your still a “get lost loser” in her eyes.

Two: It is none of your business, or anyone else’s who she chooses to be with. Just because she may have had more than one sexual partner does not make her a Ho. Guys will try to screw any girl that smiles at them…now who’s a Ho, Hypocrite?

Three: What? Just because she is a girl with a lower back tattoo she’s the Typhoid Mary of STD’s??! What friggin’ planet did you come from? More STD’s are transmitted by male carriers than by females. Yeah, you should wrap it to keep her safe from your nasty ass if you should ever get lucky. (No, the inflate a date doesn’t count, Bud.)

Finally, there is absolutely no scientific correlation, (Not  coloration, ya judgmental Moron.), between a tramp stamp and sexual promiscuity. As a matter of fact, most girls who have, or had at one time, a lower back tattoo were less likely to sleep around than girls who had no tattoos at all. This BS was started by religious sites who did not back up the rumor with any true science, and hate all tattoos.

The good news is that there is a scientific correlation between people who use the term to appear smarter than they actually are, (yet are too stupid to use spell check), and being dumber than a rock.

In short: “It’s better to keep your mouth shut and have people believe your an idiot, than to speak and remove all doubt.”

So, in conclusion, I would hate to see one of the sexiest female tattoos ever fade away just because of ignorant assholes like this jerk. I like the “Tramp Stamp”, I like the name, I like the fact that she can get you all hot and bothered by having one…and still leave your ignorant ass pulling your own junk because you thought you had an easy target…Sucker!

Good for you girls!…and try not to let assholes like these put you off one hell of a cute tattoo if you want it. Embrace the term, use it to empower yourself, and send the “little boys” home to their KY jelly and Hustler mags where they belong.

Ya know ‘Ol Doc loves ya. 😉

Thinking about becoming a nurse? Care enough about helping sick people to get better? Want to have a career that allows you to care for people? Not if you have a visible tattoo you won’t…at least in Missouri, anyway.

Just when I think that society has taken a giant leap forward and stopped looking at the outside of a person instead of their character, along comes another slap to the nuts of reason.

This time the back assward attitude comes from the Missouri Southern State University nursing school. Needless to say quite a few students there are up in arms about it, but according to the 2009 MSSU handbook for nursing students:

“Any personal enhancement, adornment or coloring that causes undue attention to oneself is strictly prohibited. Any tattoos that are visible when attired in the student uniform (excluding laboratory coat) are prohibited.”

In other words, if you have a visible tattoo that a patient could see and become distracted by, you are incapable of doing the job. Hell, and I thought those enhanced silicone mammary glands were distracting enough to keep nursie from giving me a sponge bath. I wonder if they are including those anatomy stiffening puppies in that ban as well? They should. I hate to say it, but size 40 DD enhanced hooters would call more undue attention from me than a passing shot at a Tinkerbell wrist band.

I’ll bet they aren’t barring students who have artificially enhanced knockers that have the professor playing pocket pool while he teaches the class.

According to Rod Surber, director of public information at Missouri Southern, “Essentially, the reason for the policy is because some hospitals have a policy against tattooing. We have to meet the highest standards so we can place our students in any institution.”

*sniff-sniff* I smell bullshit! Well, OK, there is a bit of truth there, but not enough to warrant kicking a student to the curb simply because they have a visible tattoo. According to All Nurses.Com, several nurses have visible, or partially visible tattoos, and it has presented zero problems in doing the job they trained for.

The bullshit I smell comes from denying someone the chance to at least try for the job simply because they have a tattoo. After all, they are the one paying for school. If it was public and free it would be a different story, but when you are taking hard earned cash from someone’s pocket, then I feel it is up to them whether they have a tattoo, or not. Your job is teaching…not social engineering, Dumbass.

At least MSSU should provide those students with a refund of their tuition so they can find a more progressive school that deserves their cash…Yeah. I’ll just bet that is going to happen.

I have a great deal of respect for artists who willingly choose to fly below the mainstream radar.  It’s one thing to shun the mainstream, but it’s quite an entirely different matter to shun the mainstream and still manage to retain a loyal and devoted fan base.  This happens with various types of artists: musicians, writers, filmmakers and in this particular case, a tattoo artist.

Jill Bonny has and continues to lead a life as varied and colourful as the tattoos that she inks.  Living in New York City as a teenager, Jill received an internship at the Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art.  The Japanese artwork that she was exposed to at the museum greatly intrigued her, leading to further explorations of this beautiful and often mysterious culture.

Art it seemed, was Jill’s calling.  She received a full scholarship to the prestigious art institute, The Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Art in New York City’s East Village.  Here she was able to really deepen her studies of Buddhist iconography and Asian art.

For Jill however, art was not strictly limited to the things that she studied at The Cooper Union.  At the same time as she was broadening her mind with works of Buddhist iconography and Asian art, she was also employed as a freelance circus performer in the contortionist group The Pain-Proof Rubber Girls.  Wow you say?  Wow indeed.  Jill spent five years as a member of this group before beginning her tattoo career in 1999.

In 2002, Jill was introduced to Japanese tattoo artist Horitaka, by friend and fellow tattoo artist Ed Hardy.  Horitaka and Jill became fast friends, motivated by a mutual desire to create a tattoo studio which had minimal traffic, but yet retained a strong and devoted customer base.  Through these similar desires, the pair managed to team up and create San Jose, California’s State of Grace Tattoo.

The shop runs on basic principles, mainly that advertising is kept to a minimum, word of mouth style and that the clientele base is more along the lines of those who trust the artist to create something wholly original than those who want a tattoo of Yosemite Sam or say, an iPhone.

Also, as of May 2006, Jill has received the honorary title Horiyuki from master Japanese tattoo artist Horiyoshi III.  To have this honor bestowed on her is something that Jill finds motivating but also quite intimidating.  Well, if her portfolio is any indication of what can be expected from Jill’s artistic abilities, I’d say that she has nothing to worry about at all.

Today while I was hanging around my apartment, playing some Playstation, it suddenly hit me: in the past few years, we’ve seen tattoos turn up in everything from dinnerware to fashion, to television programs, to literally practically everything else in between.  Hell, don’t say I didn’t warn you when the day comes that tattoo artists are designing condoms.  Tattoo is everywhere and this has never been more obvious than it currently is.

However, I still think that there is one market out there that tattoo has yet to infiltrate: video games.  To my knowledge, no video game console currently boasts a tattoo video game.  Sure, there are have been little glimpses at the concept, namely iPhone’s Tattoo Mania and the Tattoo Mania Halloween Edition, but these are small games that don’t really get into the world of tattoo.

Video game company corporate types take note: the world of tattooing needs to collide with the video game in much the same way as Tony Hawk and skateboarding did several years back.  I can’t see anything wrong with a game in which players can choose from an all-star roster of tattoo artists, then get to work on various challenging customers, requests and designs.  Work your way up from an apprenticeship to owning your very own tattoo studio.  Get the odd celebrity in now and again to tattoo.  Risk pissing off the client, or have the option of chasing down and beating a client after they diss your work.  Okay, that last one probably wouldn’t work its way into the final cut of the game, but it would be fun.  Get a big name tattoo artist to endorse it and you’ve got an instant hit on your hands.

Why this doesn’t already exist, I’ll never know.  Not to mention that depending on how sensitive they make the game and how fun it actually is, a video game is a better place to start getting interested in one day becoming a tattoo artist than other “training” methods…*cough*…scratcher…*cough*

So there you go, all you video game corporate types who read Tattoo Blog: I’ve spelled it all out for you.  Done your job for you, even.  Just make it happen and I promise you, I won’t be wrong.  Just remember: you owe me one.

Just when it’s beginning to look like tattoos are slowly gaining more mainstream acceptance in Japan, things end up going in the opposite direction.  In this case, the opposite direction happens to be a zero tolerance policy toward tattoos.

Japan has just played host to the 2009 Bledisloe Cup, a rugby tournament which, as near as I can tell is only played between two teams.  I’m sorry, but at this time if it isn’t glaringly obvious that I know nothing about rugby, then I confessing that as far as this famous match between New Zealand (The All Blacks) and Australia (The Wallabies) goes, I’m clueless.  Sorry.  I do know that I once unintentionally risked a beating at a pub, after asking a Kiwi guy if the rugby that they play in Australia is the same as the stuff they play in New Zealand.  Who knew that was a sore spot.

Anyway, speaking of sore spots, this whole edition of the Bledisloe Cup in Japan is one giant sore spot.  I guess that in the sport of rugby, it’s often common for the different teams to train by working out in a swimming pool.  These are then referred to as “pool sessions”.

When is this going to start being about tattoos, you ask?  Right now!  So these pool sessions are open to the public.  The problems begin once it becomes obvious that many of the rugby players on both teams are tattooed.  Being tattooed is apparently such an offensive act in Japan, that the players were are all asked to cover up during the pool sessions.  That means that the players had to wear training vests, which covered them from the waist up (arms too).  This way, the tattoos were not on display.  According to this article, the players were asked to cover up in accordance with Japanese culture.

I don’t think so.  I’ve lived in Tokyo and have friends who tattoo in Tokyo and never have I heard that tattoos are disrespectful toward Japanese culture.  What I did hear and to a lesser degree experience, was the general fear of tattoos, due to the belief that they are reserved for members of the Japanese mafia: the yakuza.  I just don’t feel that it’s fair to rely on misguided stereotypes and then hide under the defense of it being part of any culture.  The organizers of this event should reconsider setting future Bledisloe Cups in Japan if a certain degree of tolerance can not be expected toward the visiting teams.

If my last article isn’t enough to warn anyone off of getting a tattoo done by a scratcher, maybe I can convince you with this one…and possibly save you the experience of a piss poor job, or even your life…if I can.

Even in a state where tattooing is regulated one can find that bastion of ill health and greed known to the licensed professional world as “The Scratcher.” More often than not this resident of the slime ball environment will be delusional, egotistic, and not give a crap about anything, or person, other than themselves and their wallet. They will also tend to be the laziest c#@ksuckers on the face of the Earth, lacking the intestinal fortitude to take the proper way to get what they want, and will give more excuses than a porcupine has quills as to why they can’t.

Unfortunately, this species is far from extinct, but with luck will soon be put on the endangered list. (Probably as soon as regulations are placed on their feeding ground, the suppliers who sell to anyone with the bucks.)

Case in point; Jacksonville Florida, where there has been an alarming increase in the amount of Scratcher prey showing up at legitimate tattoo studios. These prey have exhibited all the signs of a Scratcher attack.

According to Grace Dlabaj of Kadillac Tattoo studio:

“A lot of people are coming in with homemade tattoos and a lot of them are infected and poorly done. Sometimes it is an easy fix, and there are some there is nothing you can do.

It is a lot of teenage kids, it is a lot of people who could make better decisions, but they are going and getting it done out of dirty houses. You can get hepatitis, AIDS, a bad staph infection or a scar that you will have to live with the rest of your life.”

The good news is you can easily avoid a Scratcher attack; they do not hunt you down like most other predators. They tend to entrap their prey with slick sounding phrases like:

“I can do just as good a job as those high priced guys.”

“I’ll give you a better deal.”

And the one used most often on their favorite prey, the young and dumb:

“It doesn’t matter if your underage, if you want a tattoo I’ll do it for you.”

Look, it doesn’t take a genius to guess that if these guys are still plying their rotten trade in a state that has some of the stiffest tattoo laws in the country, and it’s a problem there, what are they doing in states that have no regulations?

Again, I have to say; For the sake of the clients it is about time that tattoo equipment suppliers have some regulations placed on them as well. One of the best I can think of is not being allowed to sell tattoo equipment to unlicensed customers. (And I totally support those suppliers who refuse to sell to the general public.) No, I’m not stupid enough to think it will totally cure the problem yet, but most people are wary of getting tattooed by someone who is using homemade equipment and ink. Unless, of course, they are in prison.

I do think that it will put “The Scratcher” on the endangered species list though, and that’s a good thing. The harder we make it on this detestable species to survive the faster they will fade away…besides if they are too damned lazy to do things the right way, I’m betting they are also too damned lazy to keep up with the pressure.

Be smart, go to a pro, Gang.

To some, tattoo art transcends images, coloured ink and tattoo studios.  For artists like Keone Nunes, tattoo is a method in which he can forever link himself to his culture and heritage.

Growing up in Wai’anae, Hawaii, Nunes now lives and tattoos in West O’ahu.  There are no books filled with tattoo designs in Nunes’ tattoo room, just as there is no tattoo studio where he does his work.  He has no website, no contract to have his own reality TV tattoo show.  He knows 175 various motifs in the Hawaiian tattooing tradition, which are mostly based in the genealogy.  He takes his work very seriously, motivated by strong links to Hawaiian culture,  Nunes graduated from the University of Hawai’i Manoa with a bachelor’s degree in Anthropology and certificate in Hawaiian languages.  His tattoo training was earned under the watchful eyes of Hawaiian elders as well as the late tattoo master, Su’a Sulu’ape Paulo.

Done with a fine-tooth comb made from hippopotamus tusk known as a moli, Nunes taps dye from a Kakui tree into the flesh in order to create his tattoos.  Hawaiian tattoos are always placed asymmetrically on the body and Nunes will tattoo anyone, though those who are interested in obtaining his work on their bodies must first justify their desires to do so to the master himself.

‘If I meet with them and they are good people and they’re doing it for the right reasons, then, yeah. I don’t want to tattoo everybody in the world. I want to tattoo people that appreciate the art form.

It’s hard to get in touch with me if you don’t know how.  It’s a different type of person that comes to me. The people that I see are not really interested in having that particular type of tattoo done with a machine.’

Nunes’ work is striking in its beauty and complexity.  The fact that it’s completely steeped in culture, tradition as well as Hawaiian genealogy makes it all the more fascinating and impressive.  So here’s to Keone Nunes: a different type of tattoo artist indeed, but a highly skilled and important one at that.

Now under normal circum stances such a headline would be cause for me to go off like a Fourth of July rocket tossed into a bonfire…But not this time. This time it is actually a cause for a well-deserved pat on the back to one of the smartest group of politicians I’ve seen to date.

Minnesota is one of the few states that has zero tattooing regulations, and if you’ve been following Tattoo Blog for any length of time, myself, my partner in crime, Mjones, and several others here will be happy to tell you such states tend to be disasters looking for a place to happen. The number of scratcher horror stories, and the amount of fodder for the website “Ugliest Tattoos” will increase by leaps and bounds in such states; as every asshole who thinks he can draw will believe that he can tattoo as well.

Got news for you, Chuckles. Tattooing is a whole ‘nuther ball of wax. Paper doesn’t jerk around, holler when you go too deep on it, cuss you like a red headed step child when you screw up, sue you when you give them a deadly disease because you don’t know jack about blood born pathogens, or allow you to erase a mistake because tattoo machines don’t come with erasers.

Anyhoo, the last official tattoo parlor in Carver County’s Watertown closed in August and the town council decided to ban any tattoo parlor from opening there for the next year. Not because they are against tattoos, or the business, but because Minnesota doesn’t regulate tattoo parlors or artists, and they want the time to put their own regulations into place. Now, that is Kew-el!

According to professional artist Dwayne Holt of Anchor’s End Tattoo in Duluth it is unconscionable that anyone can open a studio in Minnesota and start giving tattoos, (More likely than not, bad tattoos.), do body piercing, or generally screw up someone else’s life without any fear of state regulation, or need of a license.

“Any guy with a couple thousand dollars can buy a kit with needles and machines and go to work in their garage. You couldn’t get your hair cut by someone who just picked up a pair of scissors this morning.”

I couldn’t agree more, Dwayne, but I would add that hair can grow back…that case of Hepatitis C, or AIDS that you just got from the scratcher ain’t a goin’ nowhere, Baby.

Council Member Rick Mann said, “”We have nothing against tattoos. We want to protect our citizens.”

Mayor K.J. McDonald said the city has had only two parlors over the years, and there were issues with health concerns, the businesses being open late, and youths hanging around. He feels the ban is necessary until Watertown has its new regulations put into place, and then it’s business as usual for any licensed tattoo artist who wants to set up in a city of about 4,100 residents.

Gentlemen, I applaud you actions and hope that either the great state of Minnesota will soon follow your lead, or more of her cities, or counties will follow your lead. I should also mention that the Minnesota counties of Hennepin and Anoka do have tattoo regulations in place. My hat’s off to them as well.

Well-done people! My only problem is if government keeps acting like this…what the Hell am I going to have left to bitch about?! 😉